Women and Reproductive Rights

Giving birth to a child is one of the nature's good ones. Now who would have thought that one day humans might be able to commercialize it as well?

Traditional Surrogacy (the straight method) is a term wherein a female agrees to carry a child in her womb. Such that she plays a role of surrogate mother to that fetus for next nine months. The word surrogate literally means "substitute" or "replacement". A surrogate mother is therefore a substitute mother. Thus, Surrogacy is an arrangement in which a woman carries and delivers a child for another couple or person. She may have made an arrangement to relinquish it to the biological mother or father to raise, or to a parent who is unrelated to the child. The surrogate mother may be also called the gestational carrier. This is further of two types: Altuistic surrogacy and Commercial surrogacy on the basis of monetary value.

Altruistic surrogacy is a situation where the surrogate receives no financial reward for her pregnancy or the relinquishment of the child (although usually all expenses related to the pregnancy and birth are paid by the intended parents such as medical expenses, maternity clothing, and other related expenses). However, Commercial surrogacy consists of certain amount of financial reward and hence is the most popular of both forms. Such that in was in Manji's case in 2002 that Supreme Court of India held that commercial surrogacy was legal in India. The reason for its popularity is due to firstly, high international demand and secondly, ready availability of poor surrogates. Hence, Commercial surrogacy is sometimes also referred to by the emotionally charged and potentially offensive terms like "wombs for rent", "outsourced pregnancies" or "baby farms".

The roots of surrogacy arose as a result of Babylonian law and custom which allowed this practice wherein an infertile woman could use the practice to avoid the divorce which would otherwise be inevitable. This involved another woman having bear a child for a couple to raise, usually with the male half of the couple as the genetic father. Such that this practice became kind of a revolution in this modern era of globalization especially for developing countries like India only difference being that now the same is done in exchange of money.

Judging by Indian history, the Indian economy has come quite far ever since independence. This is quite evident from current GDP or sex ratio or education rate. However, they all are merely figures and certainly not enough. The actual reality lies beneath her veil and it is safe to say that it is not a pretty picture. It is the combination of poverty, illiteracy and the lack of power with women over their own life which is proving to be a fatal combination. For a country wherein the literacy rate is depleting at fast pace and female fetuses are being killed in wombs or sold at low rates, laws on surrogacy are need of the hour.

There are number of implications that arise as a result of surrogacy. It is all together a complicated process which requires a set of concrete laws that need to govern this arrangement. Surrogacy over adoption is mostly is opted by childless couples because they want to have some kind of genetic attachment to their child to be born. This is often termed as 'genetic vanity". It means that the parents want some kind of genes which they could relate to. It somewhat highlights the quality of only love's one's own and hate everyone else's! So that loving one's child because he/she is of one's own blood is kind of exclusive thing. Therefore genetic vanity is a desire to see a carrying on of one's own genes. As a result the intended parent may get a surrogate for one reason or another.
Surrogacy, worldwide, spins a web of emotional, social and legal issues. Such that they are discussed in brief below:

SOCIAL ISSUES

India may have been a booming centre of 'reproductive tourism' for several years now, but there are still number of stones left unturned. India is known for her cultural and traditional values that are imparted to her female citizens. No matter how modern and sophisticated they might start acting, the mentality of preserving moral values cannot be easily forgotten. There was a time when the thought of carrying child without getting married was considered immoral and unethical, let alone having someone else's child in exchange of money. However times have changed drastically, nowadays a woman can use her body in whatever way she desires to as long as she wants it. Such that the law itself provides for the same as long as it is legal. It would definitely never prohibit an act which involves giving birth to a life.

Most astonishingly, surrogacy, which once was frowned upon is quite prevalent within different territories of India, mostly backward of course. Such that, whether it is a boon or a bane is yet to be decided. It is not surprising that most of the uneducated women opt for becoming a surrogate mother is because they are in dire need of money and why they wouldn't! Surrogacy is the rich business. All the medical bills, from the date of insertion to the date of delivery, the surrogate mother is pampered and looked upon. Such that they get everything at their beck and call as long as they are carrying other's child in their wombs for that period.

It is said that money is not everything but to these women who are living in filthy and pitiable situation, for them it might just be everything. It solves their problem of never going empty stomach to bed or having to worry about their families. So is surrogacy ethical? Is outsourcing surrogacy to developing countries a bad thing? The views might differ of course. Though on its most fundamental level, surrogate motherhood can be interpreted as an economic transaction, the reality is far more complex due to the degree of intimacy involved. On top of the basic economics of the situation, there are layers of emotional complexity, rights of bodily autonomy, and unaddressed questions of women's rights in developing countries.

Surrogacy is a matter of choice. Indian constitution guarantees a dignified life to every citizen as a fundamental right. Hence, if a woman wants to be a surrogate mother in order to feed her own family, she has every right to do it! Hence this pregnancy becomes a gift of life not only to that childless couple but to that of the surrogate's mother family. Besides going by the illiteracy rate, how much of a choice does an Indian woman really have? Moreover, equal rights for women means giving women autonomy to choose for themselves, to choose their lifestyle, sexual, and reproductive freedom. With that premise in mind, telling a woman that hosting a surrogate pregnancy dehumanizes her just imposes a new form of paternalism. Why not let each woman choose for herself then? In reality the talk of women empowerment is just the cover up. What actually lies underneath is more barbaric in nature. Such that critics of outsourcing surrogacy argue that payment for bodily services dehumanizes the surrogate mother and exploits her reproductive organs and capability for personal gain of the wealthy.
The need for reproductive freedom, procreative liberty and of the negative right of interference by government on matters of personal choice is undeniable. However, the silence of the Indian government is in line with values of democracy, with ethical guidelines advocating for a woman's autonomy to choose her own reproductive rights tells a different story all together. Such that it only gets worse. India is one of the fastest developing nations; however our outlook is nowhere as developed as we think. Another popular view for instance is that surrogacy is similar to prostitution. It is often pointed out that it reduces women's reproductive labour to a form of alienated and/ or dehumanized labour. Such that motherhood is becoming a new branch of female prostitution with the help of scientists who want access to the womb for experimentation and power wherein it is the womb and not the vagina that is being bought. However this is an unfair comparison as that women's reproductive labour, like their sexuality, cannot be compared or treated in the same way as other forms of physical labour. It is very important to understand that pregnancy is not simply a biological process but also a social practice. It's a social and gestational labour, making it off as an occasion for the parents to prepare themselves to welcome a new life into their family. Some even do it as a gesture for their loved one's. Moreover, it is not a new fact that every day we trade money for services without forming a deep personal or emotional relationship with each other..

HEALTH ISSUES

Like every coin has two sides, there is one dark side to this as well. It is not necessary that the woman who becomes ready to carry a child will always be in a good health from the beginning of the process. Such that it known fact that mostly those women who go for surrogacy usually do it for the money to survive. Hence, it is obvious that they are in poor health and during or after pregnancy, a possibility of complication would hardly be surprising. This is where the problem generally arises in respect to the surrogacy contract between the surrogate mother and the couples. Usually the surrogacy contracts made between the two parties is drafted along the lines that the childless parents provide for the health and care of the mother till the time she delivers. This means that incase of complications after delivery there is no legislation which provides either for the health or medical bills for the surrogate mother once she has given birth.

Moreover cases wherein the child born suffers from certain birth defects also pose a problem for these surrogate mothers. Congenital diseases are those inheritdatairy defects have got nothing to do with the genes of the biological parents, but with that of surrogate mother's health. The food she ingests, the way she lives, the vices, if any, she suffers from, the cleanliness of her surroundings, all have a bearing on the wellness of the child to be delivered. Such that after the delivery the child so born if has some birth defects from the stage of conception., in that case what happens to that child is still not provided anywhere in the act. In the end is it fair for a female to carry the risk of having someone else's child for money? Moreover this has become a practice in most of the rural areas which forces one to think that is it correct for a female to practice surrogacy again and again judging by the ill effects of pregnancy.

EMOTIONAL ISSUES

The bond between a mother and her child is a sacred one. However, the application of economic norms to the sphere of women's labour violates their claim to respect and consideration. Firstly, by requiring the surrogate mother to repress whatever paternal love she feels for the child, these norms convert women's labour into a form of alienated labour which basically makes it harder for women to opt for it. Also, by manipulating and denying perspective on her own pregnancy, the norms of the market degrade her.

It is very important to understand that the relationship between a pregnant women and her unborn fetus is essentially different from that between a worker and his material product. Children are not means, but ends in relationships with their mothers; mothers regard the relationship as a meaningful end in itself; and not as a means to some other end. The contract may require her to act against her feelings to fulfill its terms. Such that the contract 'does not require the surrogate mother to feel in certain ways, but rather act in a certain way' Even though one might act as per the terms laid down but signing a contract does not determine what one's views and feelings might turns out to be in the future. Therefore, would undergoing a change of heart, of one's view or feelings, change the terms of the contract? If it does then wouldn't this defy the purpose of contract which was to provide mutual assurances of how the parties to contract would act in the future? This problem yet has to be dealt by covering legal grounds along with laws of nature.

Those who oppose contracts for surrogate motherhood argue that they are morally tantamount to baby-selling. With commercial surrogacy as with baby-selling, a woman is paid a fee, in exchange for relinquishing a child. However one can argue that, commercial surrogacy is more like selling sperm than selling a baby; when a woman agrees to undergo a pregnancy for pay; she does not sell a preexisting child but simply allows another couple to make use of her reproductive capacity. This can put some issues to rest however reality kicks in hard when these babies are sold off for three figures sum.

LEGAL ISSUES

While surrogacy is a boon for childless couples, there are many legal factors around it that must be kept in mind. Since renting wombs has become an easy and cheap option in India. Surreptitiously, India has become a booming centre of a fertility market with its "reproductive tourism" industry. ART (assisted reproduction technique), has been in vogue in India since 1978 and today an estimated 200,000 clinics across the country offer artificial insemination, IVF and surrogacy. In Jan Balaz v Union of India, the Gujarat High Court conferred Indian citizenship on two twin babies fathered through compensated surrogacy by a German national in Anand district in Gujarat. This in itself is proof enough that surrogacy is presumably considered legitimate because no Indian law prohibits surrogacy. But then, as a retort, no law permits surrogacy either. Hence it hoped that the proposed law will usher in a new rent-a-womb law as India is set to be the only one to legalise commercial surrogacy.

Hence commercial surrogacy is legal in India. But it's still unregulated in our country as we don't have legislation controlling surrogacy. And although the Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR) has set 'national guidelines' to regulate surrogacy, these are still simply guidelines. All that is mentioned is that surrogate mothers need to sign a "contract" with the childless couple. There are no stipulations as to what will happen if this "contract' is violated. Issues relating to nationality of the child born out of surrogacy need to determined with thoroughness. The Indian Apex Court in one of the cases has ruled that the child delivered by an Indian surrogate mother would be the citizen of India. This poses problems for foreigners who would obviously want the child to acquire citizenship of their home country and therefore, needs to be chalked out properly.

Hopefully by passing a law in this direction will set things to change now, with India set to be the only country in the world to legalize commercial surrogacy. The proposed rent-a-womb law, if passed in the next parliamentary session, will clearly be one of the friendliest laws on surrogacy in the world.
The Draft Assisted Reproductive Technology (Regulation) Bill, 2010, is a step in the right direction. It will help regulate the functioning of the in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) centres and make the entire process of surrogacy legal. The setting up of ART banks will ensure quality check and accountability. The proposed Bill, however, legalizes not only surrogacy per se but even commercial surrogacy or surrogacy "for monetary compensation" or "on mutually agreed financial terms". It provides that surrogate mother can receive monetary compensation for carrying the child in addition to health-care and treatment expenses during pregnancy. But the surrogate mother has to relinquish all parental rights over the child once the amount is transferred and birth certificates will be in the name of genetic parents. The age-limit for a surrogate mother is between 21- 45 years. Single parents can also have children using a surrogate mother. This first-of-its-kind Bill to control and monitor cases of surrogacy in the country has been drafted by the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare, along with the Indian Council for Medical Research (ICMR) which makes surrogacy agreements between the two parties legally enforceable. In addition it said that the new law protects everyone involved which include genetic parents, surrogate mother and the child. However, the Draft Bill lacks the creation of a specialist legal authority for adjudication and determination of legal rights of parties by a judicial verdict and falls in conflict with the existing laws. These pitfalls need to be examined closely before enacting the legislation.

The law commission of India has also submitted on "need for legislation to relegate assisted reproductive technology clinics as well as rights and obligations of parties to a surrogacy." Such that the various measures proposed includes that the surrogate mother shall be allowed to bear a child with her and her family's consent such that in the event of death of the commissioning couple or other, the surrogate child shall be provided with financial support. This surrogate child is to give the legitimacy of his commissioning parents wherein one of them has to be related to the child (donor). Hence we see that most of the questions raised are covered up with the proposed legislation. But it is still quite clear that there is a wide difference between the laws on different issues of surrogacy. Sometimes they seem to be uniform and sometime they are completely deserted.

PREVALENCE AND SUCCESS OF SURROGACY IN INDIA

India's surrogacy boom began in January 2004 with a grandmother delivering her daughter's twins. The success spawned a virtual cottage industry in Gujarat. Today, India boasts of being the first to legalize commercial surrogacy soon to legitimize both intra-and inter-country surrogacy. Prevalence in India is hard to predict as there are no exact figures available and prevalence is also dependent on specialized centre's that cater to surrogacy as an option to couples that have no other way of getting a baby of their own.

However, the success rate of surrogacy is almost astonishing and increasing with an alarming rate. The surrogacy package price covers doctor fees, legal fees, surrogate work up, antenatal care, delivery charges, surrogate compensation, egg donor, drugs and consumables, & IVF costs.
India is emerging as a leader in international surrogacy and a destination in surrogacy- related fertility tourism. Indian surrogates have been increasingly popular with fertile couple in industrialized nations because of the relatively lost cost. Indian clinics are at the same time becoming more competitive, not just in the pricing, but in the hiring and retention of Indian females as surrogates. Such that with things becoming easier and legal, people might become overenthusiastic and have a baby for which they are not emotionally prepared on a long-term basis. Neglect and abuse of these children is an issue of concern and a mechanism should be put in place for monitoring their progress by social agencies.

CONCLUSION

Therefore, surrogacy is, in and out, neither necessarily good nor necessarily bad. If surrogacy were bad, it would be easy to say "ban it." But if it can be either good or bad then I suppose the question must be whether it is possible to structure it or regulate it in such a way that the good outweighs the bad substantially enough to make the whole package worthwhile. If implemented properly, it can be quite positive. Such that the law does not necessarily promote moral and ethical behavior but it can help to be very persuading. Such that there is no doubt that Surrogate motherhood is a positive addition to the ever-expanding range of technologies now available as remedies for infertility. Commercial surrogacy is necessary evil. No matter how unethical or immoral it may sound but in a poverty stricken country like India people take it as blessing in disguise. Commodification of children is an inextricable part of the process of surrogacy, any more than it is an inextricable part of any other process by which one becomes a parent. The fact that it's new should not prevent it from being regulated in form of a law. This is already boosting reproductive tourism and globalization. It cannot be ignored solely on the argument that this is not what our ancestors have approved of because at the end of the day every woman has the right to market be it her organs for donation or her womb for giving life to a childless couple. If it is morally permissible for men to sell off sperms on the basis of their reproductive capacity, why is it not morally permissible for women to sell theirs in this gender equality based country?

At the end, I believe that in order to make any of this possible, it is essential to remove the feeling of degradation that comes into people's mind when faced with the concept of "renting a womb" by both educating them and empowering them with actual factoids.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8299022

Women and Money

Money is something that is always on our minds. We always seem to need more of it. We spend most of our days, weeks, months and lives working for it. There is no doubt that money is important in our lives.

However, money is not the source of our happiness. The attention that we give to making money sometimes blurs this distinction.

How much money we make can become a sandy foundation for our self-esteem. Building a lucrative career can cause us to put aside things of more value. Working, when it is not necessary, causes us to turn our backs and walk away from the things that should be the most precious in our lives.
I value money. We all need it. Money provides for our needs. We work hard for it, and it takes a lot of our time. It is a important, and equally important, it is not to be wasted.

Money, though, however important, does not, and will never make us truly happy. Making money may take precedence when it comes to our time, but it should never take precedence in our hearts.
Have you ever heard a person, reaching the end of their life, saying that they wish they had made more money or spent more time at the office?

You never will. When people reflect on their lives, it is family and relationships that matter. What a blessing it is to have a family, and to raise children.

Children are precious. When born, they are dependent on us for their very survival. In return, they give us unconditional love. It is a kind of love that is rare, and you don't often get from other people.
There is no greater blessing in life than to be able to raise and be surrounded by children. So why are so many women pursuing career that cause them to turn their backs and walk away from these little ones? I've seen the looks of the little ones, even in the best day-care centers, as they stare hopefully for someone to lift them up from their confinement behind pet gates.

My heart breaks for these children. Very few women would take the diamond ring off their finger and leave it for a spell at one of these day care facilities. Yet they have left something more previous than gold or silver.

If it is necessary for a woman to work, then my heart breaks for the mother. The need for money does take precedence. Children are smart. They will know, as they become older, whether they were left because of financial necessity, or if they were left for the perks of a higher income.

Another sad consequence of women working is that there is no one left at home to care for the widow, the sick, and the other charitable needs of neighbors and friends. There are a lot of people around us that need help. Do we even know who they are any more?

When did the tender young hearts of children and the babies cease to mean as much as paychecks?
Women should get as much education as possible, throughout their lives, and be prepared to work if necessary. However, the finest qualities of women come from their nurturing spirits, and willingness to place the needs of others before their own.

Old-fashioned thinking? I imagine many will say that is the case. However, I am one who can now look back at an ever growing length of life and say that you couldn't give me enough money to take away even one second that I spent raising my 3 sons.

When my bones are put down into the ground, money will cease to matter. However, the memories that I leave in the hearts and minds of my children will live on through their lives, and from a spiritual perspective, forever.

My children will know that I put them first, period. We are, and will always be, a family. It's about love.

In the words of John Wesley:

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can."

Be careful of those who seek to influence you to abandon that which is most precious, and deprive you of true happiness. Do not rob your soul of it's finest qualities.

Be the best mother you can be. Don't settle for less.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4282981

Coming of Age - How to Start Welcoming Your Girl Into Womanhood

Most of us were not welcomed into womanhood, and so our INNER MAIDEN is left inside hanging, waiting, unsure... As mothers, we vow to create a different experience for our daughters, only to find them running away! What is wrong with this picture?

The first stepping-stone to welcoming your daughter into womanhood is addressing YOUR Inner Maiden, who may have never been welcomed, or empowered, when you came of age!
The story of Menarche, our first period, is rarely told.

It is interesting to note that women, who tend to share everything with one another (from first sexual encounters to stories of survival and recovery), are silent about this one...
We have come a long way as women...
We became assertive. We broke through 'glass ceilings.' We combined careers with motherhood. We decided whether to become mothers or not. We can do it all... but do we enjoy the blueprint of our womanhood: our cycle???

The adolescent girl you once were, who may have never been welcomed into womanhood, is left inside you, dormant and waiting... You are mostly unaware of her presence, except you may have menstrual cramps, hate your periods, or see them as "nuisance," "bother," or "the curse."
Like Sleeping Beauty, the coming-of-age girl inside you is waiting to be awakened.
But no Prince Charming is coming to wake you out of THIS sleep...
This is an internal job. YOURS!
So where do you begin?

As Einstein said: you can't solve a problem from the same mindset that created it! Since the problem was created by rendering you invisible and ignoring your needs as a coming-of-age girl, the healing balm lies in being heard and witnessed...

Make time with one (or more) of your close women friends to tell the story of your first period. You will be astounded by the feelings of relief, comfort, and bonding that this simple act brings. Breaking this silence holds the key to your health and strength as a fully integrated woman. It also serves as the first stepping-stone to welcoming your daughter into womanhood...

I traveled a long way from seeing my period as a nuisance, to reclaiming it as my spiritual wellspring.
Sharing the story of my first period, and holding space for women around the world to share theirs, is the essential ingredient in waking the Sleeping Beauty inside each of us.

Share your first period story with a close woman friend in your living room, in cafes, on park benches, or anywhere women get together to support one other through conversation. This is one step you can take today to start reclaiming the fullness of your "Woman Being." And it is a NECESSARY first step to prepare you for your daughter's Coming-Of-Age!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3363232

How to Deal With Adolescent Pregnancy Issues

You are reading the newspaper and came across the story of a teenage boy becoming the world's youngest father at fourteen and the girl in question is fifteen and happens to be his neighbour. The news has made you sit up and contemplate talking to your girl about puberty, sex, pregnancy, abortion, AIDS, sexually transmitted disease and all other things related to it.

There is so much of information that you feel you need to tell your daughter but are unsure where to start and how she will react. You don't want to scare her with an information overload.

So when is the right time to inform your angel about her first steps into womanhood and how what is the right approach? Most girls attain puberty around eleven to twelve years of age and some even earlier at nine. So the best age to start with important details about puberty should be eight years.
Most children get their first sex education from school but they still have a number of questions that they probably feel shy to ask in front of their class and it is time you stepped in and cleared all their doubts.

Most children when they are young tend to tell all that happened in their classroom and when your daughter mentions about her first sex education class you will need to approach it in a mature way. Parents usually panic and end up telling the bees and honey story to the child which will only make them more curious and they might end up getting information from all the wrong sources.

You will need to sit with your daughter and explain to her the changes that will take place in her body due to puberty. Let her know about periods and the number of days they last, how she will start developing breasts and also inform her about pubic hair and hair in the armpit region. You need to make her understand that these are normal aspects of growing up and that she should not panic regarding the changes in her body.

Most teens get very inquisitive and tend to ask a lot of questions. Don't try to avoid a question and answer truthfully.

If your teen is in the 13-15 age groups you can also take her on her first visit to the gynecologist. This will help her gain valuable insight about menstruation, reproduction, sexually transmitted diseases and contraception.

As a parent of a teenage daughter there could be certain days during the month that she gets very moody and irritable and this change could be due to premenstrual syndrome. You can help her come to terms with her mood swings by being supportive and loving during those days.

One thing that most parents of teenage daughters are scared about is adolescent pregnancy. Now how does one talk about sex and are there any signs to know that your teen could be indulging in unprotected sex. Most teens develop an interest in the opposite sex and this is a natural phenomenon but the trouble starts when this attraction turn physical.

We live in an era where teenage sex, date rape, AIDS and adolescent pregnancy are considered quite common. As parents how does one educate and warn about the consequences of reckless and unprotected sex? What are the signs that the teen is sexually active?

If you suddenly find your daughter becoming very secretive about her friends and in particular boys then you need to keep your antenna up. You will need to look for evidences like condoms or birth control pills or any sort of medication to cure a sexually transmitted disease in her room or purse. If you do find any of these items do not panic or lose temper. You will need to approach this situation in a calm manner. First you will need to explain to your child that sex is a beautiful emotion used to express love between a man and a woman but there can be disastrous consequences if it is indulged in during your teen years.

Next you will need to explain the pitfalls of teenage pregnancy. You will need to explain to her that adolescent pregnancy is unsafe both for the mother to be and the child as the teens body is not fully equipped to carry it for the full term. Apart from the physical problem there could also be a lot of mental distress. The maturity needed to fulfill the role of a mother is lacking and this could lead to taking more responsibility for which the teen is not adequately prepared.

As a parent gain the confidence of your daughter and try explaining things in a simple but direct way. Tell her all the dangers of unprotected sex and the consequences of an adolescent pregnancy. Most teens don't realize the consequences of their actions and as parents it is our duty to help them understand their responsibilities and fulfill their dreams.

In the book "Solving Teenage Problems" various tips to deal with teenage pregnancy problems have been provided. The book also provides various communication models to have difficult discussions with teenagers, so that you can structure your conversation to achieve optimal results.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4167539

Coming of Age - Stepping Into Womanhood

"My 12 year-old daughter started obsessing about her hair and her cloths," said one of my coaching clients. "I've never seen her like this before, and I'm really concerned..."

- "How were you when you were 12?" I asked

She immediately delved into describing her giggles with her girlfriend, her first crush on a boy, her growing focus on her looks and hair-style.

I warmly encouraged her to share THIS with her 12 years old daughter.

Instead of being detached from her girl, and cocooned in her own worries, we explored sharing her adolescence with her daughter as an authentic bridge between them.

Our daughters, fully dependent on us at infancy, grow up to become fully independent women. This is not a leap that can be made without a middle ground! This is a bridge that needs to be consciously built. Moreover, you both need to walk across it...

How do we create a bridge between our girls' Dependence and Independence?
Lets look at the journey across this bridge. You may assume this is a journey taken solely by children... Wrong!

We, as mothers and parents, must take a journey ourselves, from being unconditional care-givers, to becoming peers, while our daughters step into womanhood, our boys into manhood.
We learned to back off as our girl learned to eat by herself, tie her shoes, bathe on her own. The journey from hands-on to hands-off continues throughout our children's adolescence.
As our girl steadily matures, we need to search, and find, a middle ground between her full reliance on us, and her full sovereignty.

The first step on the bridge from dependence to independence is for parents to become transparent with their children. Specifically: for mothers to become transparent with their daughters regarding their own adolescence.

When Ellah was preparing for her Third-grade class play, I asked her how she felt about the approaching performance. She shrug her shoulders and said: "Good..." I realized I was asking her to do something I wasn't doing myself: sharing.

I then remembered my nervousness and excitement before my own class play, when I was about her age. I started sharing my memories with her, recalling the play, my character in it, the long rehearsals, my rapid heart-beats... Without hesitation Ellah interrupted me and started to talk freely about the butterflies in her stomach!

We Mamas need to grow transparent with our girls.

We have been there, in pre-adolescence and adolescent-land. We felt anxious, we started caring about our looks, we tracked our bodily changes with an array of emotions. How was that for you?
If you tune into your memories from the time you were your-daughter's-age, you can't go wrong. Instead of an internal pontification about whether a piece of information is age-appropriate or not, you will be authentic... And even more so, it will be real, honest, and transparent.
Our girls love hearing our stories.

By sharing them we "drop rank" and become vulnerable, which is the key to intimacy. And isn't this what you would like more of with your daughter, as she steps into womanhood???

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4735520

Godly Womanhood in the 21st Century

The 21st century. It's all lights, women, movies, drama, world corruption and drugs. Business and cooperate offices are run and managed by men and women who are less than moral. Our teenagers are living wild, reckless lives. Or it's the opposite, sacrificing family life for careers, recreation, money, knowledge, and power-the "me life". Teen pregnancies, abortions, rape, gang violence, alcoholism and drugs are part of the norm for the life of a teenager in our day and age. College is no different.

In today's culture women like Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Kim Kardashian, and successful business women are looked on as highly successful and are idolized by young girls. These women are popular with both men and women. Since people think so highly of them, of course everyone wants to be just like them. Girls want to be sexy and popular. The media portrays success to a woman as having a job, making money, leading a family, having smart successful children, having the perfect home, and having their husbands bless and serve them. Women are not content until they have this and more.

(Now, I know and fully understand that there are so many single moms and single girls who are without a family who need jobs and work. My mom had a full time job for 5 years after my dad was diagnosed with several brain disorders! She had to provide for a family of 9 by working for our small family run business alone. I know how hard it is, and how distressing it can be. So please don't take it to heart or feel discouraged if you are a single provider with no husband to take care of you. God is our ultimate father and husband in the end. He will care for you and help you. Only by turning to Him can we find complete security and peace.)

So while girls are becoming "stronger" and more dominant men are becoming weaker and more feminine. Sadly this is not just occurring in the secular societies but also in the church. Women are sometimes seen preaching from the pulpit, pastors don't want to take sides in moral or governmental issues, there is no backbone to modern churches.

Women gossip and point fingers in the church and churches are split. Youth groups are turning into church dates.

Boys and girls go to hang out with their peers and flirt with each other. This is the most disturbing to me. We are using God and using the church to get boyfriends and girlfriends; to send secret glances to a crush that say a lot more than "hello" and then wrap it with a "Christian" label because it's just youth group! Girls dress like the celebrities they watch and boys get "in touch with their feminine side" by wearing girlish clothing.

So what happened to our country where just 60 years ago women were content to be beautiful and live at home and love their husbands and children? Where the men were manly and loved to be the leaders and entrepreneurs? Where churches were the influence to the world (rather than the other way around) and revivals sprung up throughout the country with preachers like Billy Gram, Charles Swindoll, Warren Wiersbe, Chuck Smith, and others?

Well to answer these questions in short I believe women lost the art and joy of homemaking. They lost the vision their grandmothers had before the great wars. The ladies had to go to work to support their families. They watched their husbands dissipate into drugs and alcohol. They were told religion was wrong and that they could get rid of their babies if they wanted too. Women have been lied to in schools, through the media, their peers, their colleagues and even their embittered parents. The 1950's school text books used to share the vision of home and happiness. Today, women are told this suppresses you and will make you unhappy.

So half of the reason why our country and children are failing, the reason why there are so many abortions, and the reason so many teenagers and young adults are lost and irresponsible is because women have left the heart of their homes. They've that something is better than the moral grounds which this country was based on and which their mothers were raised on. Why am I only blaming the women? Don't the men have some involvement with the destruction which is at hand? Of course they do. But it starts at the home; with the mothers. Women train children, they feed them, they inspire, they are the source of information whom everyone turns to.

What then, can we do? What is the solution to a corrupt world being overthrown by reckless women?
The women must return home. This is no easy solution but it is imperative. It's crucial actually! They must return to the Christian morals that our foundation of this country was built upon. There is no other way. We must raise our children to love God, work hard, have integrity, and love our country.
Only then, will families be put back together, children stop dropping out of school, men embrace their manliness, and the governments finally run on strong moral values! Not until women embrace their calling as mothers, godly wives, homemakers and life givers will abortions stop, children grow into worthy generational thinkers, and divorces come to a halt.

But the women will not return home just like that, on a whim, on their own. Most of them don't even know what they are doing or what they are causing. They've been raise to believe the lies of today's culture. So how and when will they return Home? Who will tell them? You can! Yes, you. And this isn't one of those motivational "little old you can change the world with a small act" type deal. This is real. You and all the women in your church must get together, talk about our country, our citizens and discuss the real problem. Then you must be ambassadors for Gods Kingdom! You must be witnesses, examples, and role models to all the girls and young adults you meet or encounter.
"You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." Matt 5:14-16

The women and men of the church must take a stand once more; a stand for God, a stand for integrity, moral justice, and a stand for the rights of children. How will our next generation hold against the evil and trials that are coming if there are no righteous or godly historical values in them?
You might be asking "how can my church stand out?" I will tell you how to get started and point the right path which you should take, which has worked for my family and me.

1. You must talk to your friends and family about this! Open up a discussion at dinner or at a friend's house. If it is your desire to be a mother who raises a godly family and serves her husband the way Christ served the church then you must tell your peers this. It won't be easy. It will be difficult. You might get criticized and embarrassed. But did not Jesus suffer in the same way for what He believed in?

Tell your friends what your calling means to you and why you believe most Christian women should return to their homes and the lifestyle God has called them too. Don't be afraid to let them know. MOST importantly tell your family this. Tell them your reasons and hopefully they will agree with you. If not, be an example to them. Let them see how God has called you and changed your lifestyle.

2. Gather a group of friends at your church, maybe talk to your pastor and his wife. Tell them the same thing. Your beliefs and why God has called you to be a homemaker and wife and mother. Start a homemakers group! Have a once a month or once a week group and have coffee, go through a book, do activities/crafts, talk, minister and pray together. This should be very fun!

My mom and I have started or gone to homemakers groups ever since I was very young. I've met so many young beautiful women with the same calling as my mom and I. Ask your church to announce it on Sundays and invite all the girls you know.

By doing this you are encouraging your community to obey Gods calling for women. You will be making a huge impact on the world by sharing what Godly womanhood is with girls you know.

3. Be an EXAMPLE! You must set the example to your friends and family. Be loving, babysit children, bake, clean, share with others what you do at home-not by bragging but when talking about occupations or hobbies don't be afraid to talk about what you do! And don't be a faker! This is when a girl is doing all of the above to catch a husband or to look good. Be a homemaker to glorify God and not yourself! Do not engage in frivolous activities or be immature. Set the standard so that when people are around you they want to be mature and clever.

By following all of these steps God willing-you will have planted a seed, helped a future generation, saved a baby's life, or brought several women home. The way to reach our nation and country is through your community and the women and friends in your church. The more women staying home AND speaking out about being homemakers the more will follow. BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE!

To get started on your journey you have to have more wisdom than I can give you. By reading any of the following books your life will never be the same. After reading a few of these books I hope you will grasp the gravity of "godly womanhood in the 21st century" and follow the 3 steps I gave. Just try it! You won't be disappointed. You will be persecuted, yes, but don't despair!
"Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matt 5:11-12

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8268929

How Blocked Fallopian Tubes Cause Infertility

Imagine an extremely healthy woman with no history of adverse health conditions. No irregularities in the menstrual cycle and no feeling of pain or discomfort as well. Now imagine the disbelief such a woman would feel when they learn they are unable to conceive a child due to infertility. Unfortunately for many perfectly healthy women, this is a reality they do not need to imagine anymore. It is something they are facing at the moment and it is a huge shock to all such women.
While there could be an umpteen number of reasons why healthy women are suffering from infertility, one of the major causes is actually blocked fallopian tubes.
Fallopian tubes are basically thin ducts found on either side of a woman's uterus. These tubes perform a very important function that of carrying eggs from the ovaries to the uterus. Not just that, but they are also responsible for sperms to swim through and meet with the eggs. Both these functions are directly related to pregnancy and any disruption is obvious to cause infertility. Unfortunately blocked fallopian tubes end up creating obstruction for both the woman's eggs and male sperms to go to either side where they need to go for getting pregnant. Without addressing the blockage, it becomes almost impossible for a woman to conceive a child and this is exactly why many healthy women find themselves in a precarious position where they are unable to conceive.
There are quite a few reasons why fallopian tubes can get blocked in the uterus. Some of the main causes are infections, side-effects of birth control medication, scars left from an old surgical wound or even abortions or problems in past pregnancies.
There are also different types of blockages in the fallopian tubes. The most common is a condition known as Hydrosalpinx where the fallopian tubes get filled with fluids that were caused because of an infection in the body. Sexually transmitted diseases can also damage fallopian tubes affecting conception.
Although blocked fallopian tubes are a genuine cause of concern as severe damage can drastically minimize the chances of having a baby, they are also not the end of the world. Some women with severe damage may have to opt for In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) while others can opt for natural treatments that directly affect the health of your reproductive system. It is recommended to first get an x-ray or ultrasound reports to find out the extent of the damage in the fallopian tubes. If the blockage is not beyond repairable measures, then you can certainly opt for a targeted natural remedy that slowly repairs the affected areas and allow movement of the eggs between the ovaries and the uterus.
Ideally surgical treatments should be kept as a last resort considering the risks involved in such treatments. Also if scars in the tissues remain due to surgery, then there is a fair chance your blocked fallopian tubes will reoccur creating further complications in trying to conceive a child. Simply opt for natural therapies that can treat your fallopian tubes and get rid of all underlying causes of the blockage.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9181043